nothing to do. so i shall blog.
yesterday went for tuition in the morning. was eating in class. hahahahahah. then after tuition we went to j8 to meet vivian to buy our court shoes. bought a really simple one for 25 bucks. the rest were like 49 bucks to 69 bucks. so ex... so bought that. my size was like so in the middle. due to the fact that my feet are of different sizes. size 7 was too big so i tried size 6. it was fine for my right foot but a little tight for my left foot. but i settled with that. better than wearing big ones than leaving my shoes on the road. then we shopped around though we bought nothing but pens from popular. then we went to the library to study (more of slacking though) and i fell to the temptation of books again. hope i have the time to read them, or should i say, the mood to read. then they suddenly had a craving for haigen daz so we went to eat. we super pro de lor. we sat inside on a really comfy seat. and ordered just one ice cream with three scoops for 14.90. quite ex la but an indulgence once in a while is fine. then after walking around and carrying a heavy bag and plastic bag, they went home while i went elgene's house. stayed until so late la. like 12? and i was so tired. i dont even stay up this late. ate a lot of food. XD like kfc and porridge. tsk tsk. must go exercise tomorrow.

I AM GETTING SO SO EMO.

ms quek made me cry. also dont know why. but just felt like crying. but luckily, she never probed into why i was crying. because i dont know why also. but stupid la. standing outside mep room and crying. luckily my back was facing the door because after a hwile, a few girls came out. phewww.. so emotional nowadays. sighs.
kp came back to school today. not that i care but freaking becks complained to her about me. and kp started staring at me and when i went back to class to get my chinese textbook. i walked past her and she was telling fiona: "this is the girl that becks dont like right?" whatever la. no point hating me. because i dont even bother to catch you during checks. because i know you wont do anything. so why should i waste my effort? oh wells.
the majority of st johns thought i was really joining st johns. i was just cheating tess. st john girls are so gullible. and i became so famous due to the fact that st johns girls go: "JODIE YEO IS JOINING ST JOHNS!" what the?! you all a bit the dumb. not you tess..(: because assembly team mates rock! hahahs. though you all got to get used to my lovey dovey words. especially huimin. dont blush so much! huiiiii miiiinnnnnnnn!!!!
i love the fact that im busy. because it makes me think that time passes fast.

INVESTITURE INVESTITURE

big big thing of the year! kind of screwed it up. in fact we screwed it up. but it's not bad for only a day of REAL practice. and the starting wasnt good at all because the song had no intro so very difficult to start the dance. but i had lots of fun. though i forgot one part. but i was having the TIME OF MY LIFE. actually i have many times of my life, haha! the monitors were really cute and good! CHARITY PREFECTS AND MONITORS ROCK! anyway, i feel like dancing it all again as a whole because it was quite panicky for us today as quite a lot of people didnt come. llike not very united. we prefects must work as a whole, united! but it turned out quite funny. especially that the ASSEMBLY section was first and CHARITY is the first class so a super lucky me, who is in assembly and charity came out first. like so weird though it's just about 10 seconds before huimin comes out but i have to stand there and pose the longest. but i had a great time! ASSEMBLY ROCKS!
i am starting to freak out everybody in the pmb, mainly the assembly and logistics team with my scandalous acts! and im going to conquer the other teams! hahahs!
im going for raffles institution's investiture! HYPER COOL! and someone can see her certain someone. whoots~! need to borrow invest u and buy court shoes as well as stockings. and there's so many things going on soon. seth tan's wedding, the ri investiture, the slc camp, pmb and the rgs convention! busy me! not to forget my homework... :(

一千遍我爱你

就算是轻轻的呼吸心还是感觉痛
没有你的日子里我变得好脆弱
轻轻一碰
仿佛就要飞走
口袋里的双手曾被你温柔紧握
布满思念的空气该怎么去摆脱
天灰的好寂寞
快乐悲伤被你左右
说一千遍我爱你都不够
就这样不贪心我慢慢的走
只要有你陪着我
再苦我能承受
说一千遍我爱你也都还不够
有一天我总会看见幸福的彩虹
相信你给的承诺
我等候

大家新年快乐！恭喜发财，万事如意！

OH. FORGOT TO SAY SOMETHING.

guess what?

I SAW HER. god. just when im about to forget all about her. she turns up. god. im going all hyper again. super cute fringe. so happy for her. congrats on your kindness award! love you loads!

i realised how cute guys are when they blush, whether it is done by makeup or not. thanks to hanakimi. blushing cheeks are cute. like huimin's!

i hate the dance steps for the investiture. i hate the song they're using. i hate the fact that it's on thursday and we've got nothing done! so dumb la. not that i blame weiyi and huimin for being efficient. but what im trying to say is that since we know that we have such a short period of time to get it done, we should have choreographed some simple dance steps that we can learn fast and well. or maybe like my suggestion: we can pair up and walk down the aisle singing a chorus of a song. thats like kind of fun eh. and to me, it's kind of entertaining.

fang min came back. and ms seow revealed that fang min was her direct junior and that she was library PRESIDENT. loads of SHOCK! fang min and ms seow are both presidents of library! SO COOL! with nice people, you get a nice library society! whoots~!

anyway, im not sure if i'll be online the next few days due to chinese new year. so:
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!
in advance.

and lots of love to all UNITIANS as well as the TRUTHALICIOUS girls who know me as kaypoh. and also my dear JOEY and TRICIA and ENQI! hope they played my song dedication. :)

LOVES<3

one minute you say you two broke up le, then now you say you want to patch up.
the point is, it takes two hands to clap. you were the one who initiated the breakup. and he doesnt really have feelings anymore, so do you. now there are no hands at all how to clap? you got to settle things yourself le. i cant help you because i think everything's wrong. it was wrong in the beginning, you two didnt know each other enough and didnt have that deep feelings. and you care only about looks. like you said, you had two choices: a nice nice guy but not that shuai, and a shuai guy whom you think he's nice. and obviously you chose the shuai one.

are looks that important?

sighs.. do not judge a book by it's cover.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
gave out the cookies we baked. dont know nice or not. because if it's fresh, it's a lot nicer. (: i got a lot of swets and chocolates. and i left them in school. :( later tomorrow kena scolding because tomorrow total defence day. cannot bring food and water. so lame lor.

the dance for the investiture very WEIRD AND TOUGH. like hiphop mix breakdance mix cheerleading de. so difficult. till can die! WEIYI! change dance steps!

so angry at somebody.

so worried for somebody.

so sad for somebody.

the somebody are all the same person. sighs....

OUCH.

butt ache and upper thighs. muscle ache. pain pain. walk also very pain. then my mum ask me to go down and take things. then must bend down and take. also very heavy. sighs.

did homework just now. so called finish le lah. :)

valentine's day coming. chinese new year coming. INVESTITURE COMING!

WHOOTS!

im getting so so EMO.

watching huan zhu gege now. SO SWEET. ah! i love yongqi! that sounds like my sister. hehehs. i was watching ying huo chong de meng on friday and i cried. situ bi and dad are like so cute. so touching. getting so emo nowadays. :/ thats a bad thing.
baked cookies at eehui's house yesterday. im starting to wonder if they are really cookies. because they feel like muffins only that they're flat! we made a huge mess of the kitchen. like war like that. then we were using the hand mixer and i kept pressing the max button and it starts whirling damn fast and everything on the beater flies around. oh gosh. chocolate mixture fly fly around to everywhere! and im very sotong. i spilt the baking soda, the salt and the cocoa powder and a lot of other things. ended up quite yummy. to me at least.
im missing sec one orientation. ONE UNITY, hao xiang ni men. though i see you all like everyday. but im missing the times we spent together during the orientation. awww..

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

this doesnt make sense at all nowadays. hey christ, your flood didnt work. the evil people are still around. what im trying to say is that i treat people fairly well, but they dont do the same for me.

just today, i went to ang mo kio central and i saw my library senior who graduated already. i said hi and asked her how did she do for her o levels. guess what? she just ignored me. what is this world coming to. i wouldnt mind if she didnt hear me but it could be clearly seen that she heard me.
though i know that at times i treat some people quite badly, i usually dont hope that they'll treat me well as well. thats too overbearing of me.
i got my friend to accompany me to the library. she agreed and i told her i have a meeting after school for a while. then when the meeting ended. i called her and she was checking the o level results. she told me to wait for her so i did, thinking it will be a five minute wait. at most, a ten minute one. but in the end, i waited for like thirty minutes?! and it was so awkward being in someone else's class and like everybody was staring at me.

when she arrived, finally after decades, we had this conversation:
X: so you REALLY want to go J8 arh?
Me: yeah.. if not fake one? bluff you for what?
X: oh.. so you want to stay back?
M: i said i want to go J8 so stay back for what?
X: hang out?
M: (thinking: what the?! is she like dumb or something? tell her want to go J8 and she treats the school like J8. dumb ass.) im going there to return my books. so if i stay back, whats the use of carrying all my heavy library books to school?!
X: oh. want to go yishun's? nearer to my house.
M: (thinking: why not go ang mo kio's? it's nearer to MY house.) i dont even know where it is.
X: oh.. i wanted to hang out in school.. like hang around.
M: i think i left something in class. i go take.

and i left and didnt return. saying that i had to help a teacher when she called me to find out where i am.
sometimes i know i'll be hurting somebody if she ever finds out. but does she know how hurt i felt? i helped her so many times. and went out with her though i had tons of homework. i helped her bring her books home at the end of the term, before the holidays, seeing how heavy they were. and i cared when she did badly. i encouraged her, or at least, that's the most i can do. i tried my best to do my hardest not only in my education but also my social life.

now my results are flunking like mad and i dont think i can achieve a ten for o levels. and does she look like they care? do they look like they care? i may look very happy-go-lucky and very heck-care attitude. but in fact, im screaming my lungs out and crying my heart out inside. you may think that i have no goals. i set my own goals and have high expectations of myself though i dont really work hard to it. not that i dont want, but im afraid. im afraid of failing, afraid of doing things wrong, afraid of disappointing myself. sometimes i get so frustrated that i cry and i'll just brush it off by saying that i can force myself to cry or that im very tired. but nobody can help. no, nobody wants to help. i know they wont be of much help but i will appreciate the thought.
but it appears that nobody's trying. i tried helping them but they did not do the same for me.

i have lived with the fact that nobody cares and that nobody bothers and i shall just leave myself to myself. and hope that i can work things out myself.

changed my blogskin! nice nice! make myself de ma.

there's so many things going on. busy month. next month too. there's chinese new year and valentine's day. and there's investiture on the 22nd. and there's a phototaking this monday.
next month there's three camps! fun fun fun! loads of fun!

there's the class dinner tomorrow and im not going. and a few people know why. a bit obvious right? hahahs.

my expected L1R5 is ten. which means if i minus two for both chinese and cca. i'll get a six. but i cant even get a single A1. how to get so high? sighs. i want also dont have lor. must work till i get white hair and start balding.

#1- single, taken or crushing?
hmm.. i should take it as im single. :)
#2-are you happy with your life?
it'll be fine if i can get rid of this, that, this, that, this, that and this and that.
#3-when you meet the right person, do you fall in love with him/her fast?
in order to know if that guy's the right person, you have to fall ini love with him first right? you think love at first sight meh?
#4- have you ever had your heart broken?
many times but never by other guys except for one: MY DAD.
#5 - do you believe that there are some circumstances where cheating love is acceptable?
yes. where i dont like th guy anymore. so it'll be a good thing. XD
#6- would you ever take someone back if he/she cheated on you?
only if he agree to give me a billion dollars and then go jump to his death. HAHA.
#7 - haf you ever talked about marriage with another person b4?
hmmm.. only with my friends?
#8 - do you wan children?
yepp. if i ever get married that is. NOT PRE MARITAL.
#9 - how many?
2 or 3..
#10 - would you consider adoption?
if i cant get pregnant then perhaps i will.
#11 - if somebody likes you rite now, wad do you think is the best way of letting you noe his/her feelings?
hmm.. depends on what that guy want to do lor. and see if he can impress me. though im not easily impressed.
#12 - do you enjoy getting in a relationship?
wait till i get in then talk about it.
#13 - be honest. wad is the furthest you and your ex did b4?
hmm.. i kissed my ex! though we're still together but we sort of shu yuan because we in different class. right thalia? hehehs.
# 14 - do you believe in first love?
of course right? first love leh. that means first relationship. even one minute also counted mah. also not love at first sight..
#15 - you believe that you can change sumone?
duh. im a very INFLUENTIAL person.
#16 - are you romantic?
maybe i am deep inside, but i wont show it at all.
#17 - if you would get married, where would it be?
on the beach!
#18 - do you easily give up in fighting?
sometimes. if i know i sure lose.
#19 - haf you ever wished you could haf sumone but messed it up???
not really. :/
#20 - do you haf feelings fer sumone rite now?
i have feelings for everybody, hatred and love!
#21 - haf you ever broken a heart?
yeah. but not a guy's.
#22 - if one dae, your best fren falls in love with a guy/gurl you are deeply in love with, wad would you do?
nothing? the guy might not like her mah.. this shows that she got good taste because the guys are like are high quality ones ok?
#23 - are you missing sumone rite now?
yepp.. certain two people.

all of a sudden, the topic that revolves around us are boys and someone. i mean like at this age, it's all about guys and friends right? but seriously why bother? like now they're planning valentine's day outing. go ahead with your guy la. not like i will stop you. i dont need someone to accompany me on valentine's because i dont care. to me valentine's day is just another day where everything goes on as per normal for practically everyone so nothing much lor. im as happy as can be. heheh.

i forgot a super important thing.

MY FREAKING PHONE CONKED OUT

WTF?! dear phone, i treated you not very badly, though i dropped you a few times. how can you die on me?! im not going to give you a funeral. im just going to dump you aside. f*** you.

anyway, it's been fine nowadays though im still struggling with my maths and school work. im starting to do my homework. ms quek, be happy that im doing homework. actually quite proud of myself. i usually do homework if im scared of the teacher or when i feel like it. so not very frequent.

last night ah ming gor gor asked me what jc i want to go to. i didnt dare to reply so i said that i didnt know. not that i dont know la. but im aiming for a polytechnic. but now im not sure because im not really SURE that i want that course, or what course do i really want. if it's a jc then it'll be rjc, njc, hcjc or nyjc. but im not that pro. last night i went for the dinner. and the two relatives who were sec three too. i felt so dumb and i felt like my grandmother despise me. just because they are both in the integrated programme. so what if they are in raffles and hwachong. not like i can get in right? i know i cant cope. i really cant. but im trying. i dont go out as much now. but i cant study alone. urghs..

i have biology test tomorrow and i havent started revising. dont have the mood. but i will later.

sometimes i tell you
im ok
im alright
i want you to believe
though i know everything's just a lie

i tried to be
what you want me to be
but i realised
thats not what i want
but im on the road to realisation

THALIA DARLING I LOVE YOU TOO!

went for flag day yesterday. fun fun! and that hwachong guy was fun. then when i reached home, my father asked if i wanted to go for my lao ma's birthday dinner. what a relief! because my sister was celebrating her birthday and i hate her friends. so i went with my dad. and usually i hate hanging out with my ah ma's side the relatives. but i sort of enjoyed it la. the food wasnt ververy nice, but it was quite nice la. then it was quite fun because there was jeron and marcus. then jeron was saying that he was so hungry that he can eat the moon. it's really funny if it comes from a three year old. hahahs. then it was quite fine la.. the two of them very cute. then ah ming gor gor was chatting with me la. i never ever talk to them de lor. but we were chatting and he's nice. :) he cery ke lian leh.. broke his leg then it broke again. then now it's like joined by screws. so ke lian. yepp.. but i think this gathering makes it better for cny. because then i wont be so bored and i wont be hating cny that much. hahahs!