GREEN GOT FOURTH!
which is last la!

escorting was fun. with free entertainment from nicole.(: it was so sudden in the beginning la. because we were carrying stuff to the viewing gallery then all of a sudden mrs goh said,"oh.. isnt that miss choo's car?" AHH! so we ran all the way to the forum and it was raining and she had an umbrella, we didnt. hoho.
then the stuff started and i was dancing to the music and miss jeya was laughing and she said i was animated. which is the truth.
then the guests had reception! BUFFET! so we brought them to the mep room and they asked us to eat.:D dont need to eat bread. whoots! and it was yummilicious!
then the guests went back to the viewing gallery and we brought the jb girls over. some of them are really nice.(: and one of them left her stuff on the chair so i passed it to her teacher.
there was a guzheng in the mep room! so fun! i want to learn but im musically dead.):
sent miss choo to her car after that. and she gave me a hug because i carried her crystal cup!
this year's sports day wasnt as fun as before but i actually prefer this than being on the specs stand. encore!(:
p.s i cant go to the hwachong slc. RAHH. cant stand it. the nominees for exco have more opportunities. cant you see that they're RELUCTANT? gosh. i hate the BIASED pmb.
p.s.s i saw her!(: gosh.. she just appeared in front of me. GOSHGOSH.(:

SPORTS DAY IS JUST A FEW MORE HOURS AWAY!

and green, we've got to buck up or we'll get last like two years ago. WE WERE CHAMPIONS last year so we cant get last this year! so jiayou!

although im like not going to be in the contingent (rahh. im sad. i want to do the cheer and the family dance!), but im going to be supporting you all morally!

and yes, if possible, im going to cheer along, anyway there's four green house peeps with me. not like jiemin and nicole, only yellow and blue. cheering makes them look weird.xP

GO GREEN！

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY CHYIFANG!
200 POUND BEAUTY WAS FABULOUS!
I GOT FULL MARKS FOR AMATH TEST!
so many things can happen within two days.. (:

lets start with chyifang darling's birthday. she didnt have a party but i sent her an sms! and passed her a prezzie today. hope she likes it.. kind of cheapo la but im not rich so yeahh..

as for 200 pound beauty, it was fantasticfabulous! super nice. went to lido on monday, it was a holiday, with eehui, vivian and si'en to watch it. so sad tancheng cant make it.:( if not the day will be near perfect. anyway, we watched the fantastic show with fabulous songs which made us laugh ferociously LOUD. and it seems like we're the noisiest. the show wasnt just a comedy, but a romance as well. made me cry at certain parts because i thought i could kind of relate to it. xP then after that we went with eehui to her dental appointment then went over to the esplanade which was kind of a random decision. just walked around and went to marina square. walked around and had ice cream at macs with loads of chocolate fudge requested by eehui! then we were talking to pure and innocent si'en about stuff. yeah stuff. and she was super slow.
went to the toilet and this eehui's feet were sore from her wedges so i swopped shoes with her. and so obviously my feet are fatter thus, suffering more pain than her in a shorter time. oh wells. im a nice friend. and we bought keychains!(:

and yes! i got full marks for amath test! though lots of people got it but im super satisfied with myself la! but now, there's the emaths test which will change my mood. but i shall live with the present and not look forward to the future!(:

and today's sports day rehearsal was fun. i was supposed to be the guest of honour la! but that mrs cheong snatched it from me.:( anyway, vivian, jiemin, three primary girls and i were the escorts! four green house and one blue and the other yellow! GREEN GARRISON! though i agree we were terrible this year. but we shall lose with style.XD and i got perfect view. will be with the guests and guess what? the people who are performing are performing for... the guests! SO IT'S LIKE FABULOUS VIEW.

then there was a talk after school about shen diao which i didnt read or watch. so i was kind of lost but the speaker was hilarious! so was quite fun la.

now im looking forward to sports day and city duathlon! WHOOOOO!

BIATHLON YESTERDAY!
was super fun!

woke up in the morning and huipin's dad fetched us there. i was supposedly following roxanne but since huipin was kind of earlier so i followed them which caused them to make a u-turn and further delayed jamie's departure time.

reached there at 9.30 and went to change into the shirt provided. BIGBIG tee. anyway, smart me was the only one wearing shorts and slippers. perfect. i was supposed to be in the same group as them-- drink station 3. but drink station 1's people were all kind of late and they had only four people. so i sacrificed myself to join their group. and gosh, i can still see the looks on the librarians faces. oh wells. but i guess it was worth it. VERY WORTH IT. made new friends.(: and that is like one of the best thing on earth.

anyway, then we set up the station and the late people, who were from hwachong appeared. and that is, right after we set up every single thing, which is a lot-- cartons of 1.5 litre bottles, cartons of H2O, tables, ice boxes, and 9 bags of 18kg ice. and they just popped out after that and to make it worse, they kept all to themself, so antisocial.

then we got to know each other more: felicia, ziyin, jixiang, weeloong. fun people. and felicia's from peirce! NEARNEAR! serving the drinks were quite fun and eehui and jesmine joined us after they finished their swim marshal duty, since the swim was only in the beginning of the race. and as usual, st nicks people are super duper SOCIABLE and made friends with my team members. and i started the 'water games'! super fun splashing on each other especially JIXIANG. hahahs. then everybody got wet and we realised that the only person not wet was the one who 'ordered' us around--FELICIA! so we started attacking her! was so so fun. then we had to pack up and we realised that the hwachong people somehow sneaked off while we were fooling around and left us to pack up on our own. WOW. fine. stuck up people.

after packing, we signed out, exchanged numbers and everybody left. eehui and jesmine wanted me to go home by bus with them but i didnt want to go home so soon, so i stayed to play with ziyin and waited for the librarians and hitched a ride home. i waited for about 45 minutes and stoned there la. but by the time i reached home, eehui called me aftter 20 minutes and she was still on the bus! wow..

anyway, the biathlon was super fun and seeing people run makes me want to run too. but sadly, im not that fit. xP and i signed up for city duathlon too! yayness!

YOU MADE EVERYTHING WONDERFUL

i just realised how much i love sweeping the floor.
i just realised how dirty our class is.
i just realised how the markers go empty so often.
i just realised how many newspapers there are.
i just realised how much stuff we leave in school.
i just realised how much dust the green board produces.
i just realised how many sweet wrappers are flying around.
i just realised how many forms are lying on the floor.
i just realised how many shoebags are in the balcony.

i just realised how lucky i am to have nice friends.
i just realised how nice my three charitian friends are.
i just realised how gorgeous isabelle made the esplanade to be.
i just realised how spastic vivian and eehui are.
i just realised how nice it is to meet ella at j8.
i just realised how tough it is coping with life.
i just realised how much i miss you.
i just realised how much i love you.
i just realised how tough it will be just to forget you.

:D

DIARY CRAZE!
here it goes all over again.

just realised so many people are writing diaries so i shall do it. again. haha! the previous few died. and so many people are decorating their school diaries so i shall too.(: go with the flow.. not copycat ok?xP

yesterday i was a super guai girl! I DID MY MATHS HOMEWORK! AND A FEW AT ONE GO SOMEMORE! i feel so man zu.(: this is like a MIRACLE because i havent been doing my maths homework since sec two? actually since primary school la, depending on the teacher. haha!

anyway, today was kind of fun. i brought loads of sweets and titbits and they just halved in quantity when i came back from higher chinese lesson. oh wells. my class is just like that.(: i was super SPASTIC today. acted STUPID like the whole day la! and made everybody laugh at me. but that makes me happy too.(: though it may seem humiliating to some people, it seems fine to me. being the clown has a good thing, i wont really be that outcasted. they'll accept me more. i love secondary life. it's so different from my primary school life. it saved me from being an outcast for my entire life. and all this changed after i landed up in-- one purity 05'xDxD

after school, vivian and i went to j8 again (kind of routine every monday and wednesday). wanted to go study but realised that we have to buy someone her present! so we did! and there was popular sale so i bought cheap cheap notebooks. AHH. this shows how much of a notebook fan i am. HUGE FAN OF NOTEBOOKS. but no money for the super nice kinds. shall stick to the cheap ones for the time being then, anyway, they satisfy me all the same.

suddenly, i miss my EYECANDY. even though i just saw him like last week? haha!

and cheong yeeyin ah! stop saying that he's my boyfriend la! mr seth tan talk about going steady then you tell like the whole class?! get it clear:
one. he is NOT my boyfriend.
two. he is NOT my type.
three. gosh. DO I LOOK LIKE IM ATTACHED?
four. i dont like him.
five. i got my girlfriends k? cannot betray them.

and lets emphasize it. I LOVE LOVE LOVE MY GIRLFRIENDS.

SCORPIO - The Addict
EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humour.Energetic. Predict future. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships. Great listeners. Talkative. Romantic. Caring. One of a kind.

not totally correct but yeah, i know im adorable and obviously i love to joke and have a good sense of humour. im the clown remember? i am super energetic or what you can say hyper or zi high. im quite easygoing and i guess i am a good listener due to the fact that im always on the phone for so long. and that sort of also says that i talkative and that's the TRUTH!
as for the others, i shall not say any further.

freaking pissed and sort of disappointed. or should i say, very very disappointed. not that i had high hopes, but it's just that, i sort of have the intuition that we'll make it. and i know we will but the thing it, everything just starts crashing down, and piling up on me. the emotions is just overwhelming. i just dont know how i really feel adding to the confusion. i dont know whether to blame you or not. it's just not your fault, perhaps it is because you were a bit too foolish on your part to start making decisions on the last day. but seriously, i dont know whether to forgive you or not. i did not say that you did not do anything at all. just that, i really worked quite hard for this. ive stayed up practically every night. hoping to buy raw materials cheap, only to stop when i realised i was neglecting my school work. but everything just ended abruptly, without me knowing, at the last minute, that our chances were gone. i knew we had a 90% chance of getting into the semifinals, and get our cca points, and all of a sudden, it became 0%. and what i cannot understand, or accept, is that zhuwei's group who only played for two days or so and gave up got in and we didnt. FINE. i just have to accept the fate that we're just unlucky.

this competition really made me understand isabelle more. and pull us closer together. and it's not that we're ganging up against you. but we really dont know how to accept the fact that you ruined our hard work. and thanks to isabelle, i love the esplanade.(: i want to go to the esplanade, now have to plan my schedule because i have to go to esplanade with both isabelle and vivian!

two very important people are having their birthday soon. guess who? :)

THREE CHARITY GOT THIRD FOR DANCE!
WHOOTS~! we didnt really do very well but i guess overall it was fine!(: and the costumes for the girls turned out really nice and the guys looked like girls still. haha! and the hair gel didnt work because as we were the first group, we had to stand and get ready and the curtains were to be drawn. super hot and was perspiring like mad. like pouring! and we were so nervous and lijie and i were like kind of slow for the beat. but according to the audience, caralyn and dawn were a bit too fast. but still we won! quite a big surprise to us since we were really quite last minute and we didnt do that well. but this time the sec three charity showed that we can do it!(: and the people in the cultural performance group(polish dance): furball, beckie, qimin, christine, sheila, huishan, blanche, valentia, caralyn, dawn, lijie, faith, stephanie and last but not least, ME. hahahs. and a lot of people were staring at me because of my pants. BRIGHT ORANGE. urghs. and lijie forgot the dance steps and she was stoning there.xPxP but i loved this though i got dizzy. but yeah, THREE CHARITY ROCKS.

had to run 5 rounds for PE. dont really recall my timing but it was either 11.09 or 12.09. not bad considering the fact that i was super tired from running yesterday and dancing. and i felt kind of dizzy as well. but yeah good job to me. and we trained arm today by hanging on the bar. was too tired and couldnt really do it. then we did standing broad jump and woahs! i jumped 162!! first time in three years or perhaps four! whoots~!

for cca today was quite slack la. rushed to arrange the tables and chairs and mpr and mrs sherwood was having her lesson. then after arranging, i went to the father barre with roxanne to welcome the serangoon secondary people and they were late by more than half an hour. and they came from avenue two gate instead and we had to run all the way there. stupid people. then the mpr couldnt be used because the dumb ld people snatched it away though they didnt book it at all. urghs. waste my effort. HATE LD. then just slacked in the library room and gossiped. the library jacket cant be done! and I STRONGLY OBJECT TO LIBRARY TEE! and guess what, IM THE ONE DOING THE TEE/JACKET. goshh. whats the whole point? i wont even wear it to cca. wont even want to change into it. i think walking around in library tee and pe shorts is yuck. UTTERLY DISGUSTING. but what to do? i have no say at all. oh wells.

i changed my phone! not new one la. my auntie bought new phone then gave me her old one. at least better than my laopok one. this has bluetooth kay?! hahahs. and yayness! my father asked me whether i wanted his n70 or this samsung one. chose the samsung one because the n70 is just going to rip my pocket further. my pocket has a big hole.. ripriprip.

once i find my motivation, i will cherish it and treat it more important than my life, whether it comes in living form or non-living form. why? because i took ages to find it. im taking like fifteen years to find that motivation to live life with an aim, it may take longer. but who cares? im so going to treasure it when it comes knocking at my door.

anyway, tomorrow's international friendship dance and im so going to screw it up. and my partner dont even want to practice seriously. i dont mind because im always making a fool of myself. she'll lose face totally, not my problem either. i was being serious and trying my best. and she just took the whole thing as a circus act. fine. and im so going to puke tomorrow, or maybe get so dizzy that i faint. :/

today was a terrible day and i dont want to talk about it. and.. when did my days turn out good?

feel like changing my url. but it seems that im starting to grow attached to this blog url. not like the previous few.

the competition is dumb. it's fine again. so dumb. and we havent sold a single car. so lan. DIEDIE. and some idiotic people are not contributing. why? because they say they dont know how to play. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A TEAM EFFORT. NOT A PAIR EFFORT. though i'll prefer if you two didnt touch it at all. at least ask about it, NOT BLAME US WHEN WE HAVENT SOLD ANYTHING. you two better get out of my face.

there's library tomorrow. i better remember to go and arrange the tables in mpr. i better remember to go welcome the people coming here for friendly match. i better remember to go watch my fair lady and help out. i better be sure that i arrange the tables by 3.30 and be at the screening at 2.45. and i am sure that that is impossible.

and my speech wasnt supposed to be today! it's tomorro's first spreaker! but we had time so i did my speech too. AND I WAS SO NOT PREPARED. and i screwed it up and started trembling like mad. GOSH. THIS MAJOR STAGE FRIGHT IS KILLING ME.

and andrea pang said maybe all of us will go for the slc and some of us might be facils! SO COOL! andrea, MEMEME! I WANT!:))

and i desperately want to change my phone.xDxD

gosh. in less than 30 minutes, all because i clicked refresh, the same car was made TWICE. and money was spent TWICE. NINETY MILLION FROM OUR TWO HUNDRED MILLION GONE. i hate this dumb game. so lan and so DUMB.

im super pissed with myself. i just cant bring myself to do work. 真是死性难改!

anyway, so so sorry to vivian, my dear dear one and only best bestie.. so sorry for sounding so cold to you and the phone. so sorry for sounding so pissed all the time. so sorry for everything.

going through a really difficult time now. a mental fight with myself. like the devil and angel fighting inside. this will be a really tough fight and both 'teams' have good defense skills, im not sure which will emerge as the winner. but i sure hope it'll be the angel. but being in this class can be really demoralising. and having demoralising teachers, it's a lot worse.

ive decided that i shall get an L1R5 of 10-15 by the end of the year. so i'll get perfect score by next year!XD because it's sort of the trend. people who do well at the end of sec 3 rarely do well in sec 4. so i shant do too well. though it's already quite a challenge. and i dont know what's up with me. all the study-talk but no action. something like that la. perhaps i'll get my motivation and my goal soon. it's horrible living without an aim.

i love love library! so fun talking during cca, ive realised, especially with the young ones. and laughing at the astroboy scrabble teacher. hahahs. and hearing us shouting from one point to other point. quite fun la. and library is so not quiet during cca. why? because librarians are interactive, or you can call it talkative.XDXD and it's really hilarious la. but library is getting fun with the juniors!:)) especially the sec ones in the english group.xP

at times like this, i guess i should just accept her. she's quite ok actually. i should be more neutral towards her. and also, i sort of agree with her. but i really cannot control myself. talking is like my life, my mood. my besties know my mood from the amount i talk everyday. when i talk a lot a lot, it's either im very happy or im very sad. and i always believe that one day, all this talking will stop, and i dont want to waste the time to talk now.
she was betrayed but in my case, i sort of got pulled into the fact that i was the betrayer. every year the same thing happens and it's always none of my business but somehow the blame was always put on me and i became a betrayer. and somehow i miss them a lot a lot. sometimes i think of them really a lot, but us going back together, impossible. but im happy enough to know that we have a past and that is something worth for me to look back on and im happy that i remember the details clearly in my head.
at times like this, thinking of the darlings-dears-dearies cheers me up. thank you to all of you-- vivian darling, eehui darling, si'en darling, tancheng darling, thalia darling, vanessa darling, dorcas darling, delphine dear, joan dearie(gay), yanlin darling, ann yeoh dear and chyifang dear. just realised how many darlings-dears-dearies i have but im glad i have them with me. ((:
and all of a sudden, post-psc blues are back.

//edit

i forgot LOUISA DEARIE!! anyway, there's also LOUISA DEARIE AND OLLIE DEAR!

我寻找的平静
是我将来看电影
带着一颗平常心
不必为谁心碎闭上眼睛
我需要的平静
是敢回头看曾经
那些为爱患得患失的情景
我选择忘记

went for cultural performance meeting today. thought there'll be lots of people but not really la. only got furball, dawn, qimin, caralyn, sheila and huishan. we gathered at kebun baru cc then huishan and sheila went off and the rest of us went to furball's house. got the dance done after the whole afternoon. like from one to six thirty? five and a half hours. wow. i felt quite left out though since they partnered each other but i was fine looking at them dance and giving remarks. i wasn't really left out but i was feeling kind of awkward since i thought they might find me kind of useless. sorry guys. anyway, our dance is really difficult to remember because the steps are all so so so similar and so twisty and turny. we'll all go topsy turvy and get flung down the stage! kidding.xP but it's quite cute la. hope it turns out nice!
before that, i brought megan and tancheng to eat my father's noodles. hope it's nice though i thought today's noodles was not up to standard. :/ but oh wells.
im so looking forward to some stuff which i dont even know. i just feel that something's going to happen.(: hope it's good though. but somehow i can tell that it wont be because i can picture ms quek making me cry. again. why must she repeat history again and again? leave me alone la.

today was such a fun day sitting with deborah and yeeyin! how ironic! haha!

and the pmb photos are up on the board! and i look like a happy lee kuan yew declaring independence! and delphine look like a really nice dad with three kids! so kawaii!

actually nothing to blog about. except the fact that someone's going to sao mu and pangseh-ing me. pissed la!

though i dont mind going to eat with tancheng in the morning, perhaps, then go kebun baru for dance! polish dance! whoots~! fun!

www.yourdeathisdue.wordpress.com

go ahead and laugh your heads off. my tablemate is just so special. so special indeed. i really have loads of fun gossiping about her infatuation with miss seow and that's seriously a hot topic during gossips. kai kou bi kou also miss seow here, miss seow there. also not like im crazy over miss seow.
and seriously, have you ever heard of something called FREEDOM OF SPEECH. it's my problem if i want to talk. none of your business. ive been putting up with your 5 vulgarities in a sentence of 10 words. why? because i believe in freedom of speech. so shut up and close your ears.
think that you're very attentive during lessons arh? beatboxing during lessons? wow. that is very very attentive. fantastic. and im super happy that you're aiming for a seven for o levels. then thats good. because i know you will never ever reach that target. and that's good news. and i bet this is going to make you work harder. that's fine with me. because you are seriously non-existant in the entire class. eh no.. you ARE existant but as a PEST.
and my friends are all precious to me, even though they might not treat me like their good friends. i just like big groups and not the same old friend though i still need my trusty ol' friends like vivian, eehui, si'en and tancheng.
and im so not going to bother you anymore. that is, if you ignore me.XDXD

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO AW WENHAO!

dont be too sad about syf ok?:))

and st nicks got gold for CO. not gold with honours but not bad le la. better than copper or brass for ccs.(a lame thing la)

and im starting to hope that i'll fail o levels. and i dont want to go jc, dont want to go poly, just want to stay at home and start rotting. im a person who cant take pressure at all. like almost 100% cant take it. and now you're putting pressure on me and seriously, it is DEMORALISING. fine la, since i dont even think you think about what i feel. so just continue lecturing me practically every single day. gosh, im starting to hate you. and hate is not a wonderful feeling. and thanks to vivian and eehui! love you loads. and that, love, is a wonderful feeling.XDXD

this week is officially the emo-est week ive ever had in my entire life. freak.

i dont see the point in doing all these
learning all these
going crazy over everything
when it's just going to end
oh-so-soon

this is my 103th post. i blog quite frequent as i can see, taking into consideration that this blog was started on the 10th of october. wow.

kind of emo these few days but im fine. and it's really very fine. been very happy today except for the fact that my tablemate keeps pissing me off and the sight of her irks me and i cant concentrate. i must learn how to pretend that she's invisible. then i'll be ever happier. and im learning to appreciate stuff around me. perhaps. a little bit though.

though i cant get my mathematics right yet, i shall try to be a 80% guaikia. but that's super duper tough for me because im a person who lives every single day of her life like it lasts forever. but i must try la. but i still need time to relax. so 80% guaikia is fine for me. i hope.

whoosh.. today is si'en's birthday. and though our present is not very very great la, it's the thought that counts right?

LOVE YOU LOADS SI'EN!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

and i just oh-so-happy that i can skip english and house practice.xDxD though i'll much prefer to skip social studies.xP but sui bian la. i dont want to be in school. will be nice going out of school with isabelle though esther and clara are coming along.((: and my gay's birthday is coming soon! and i want to go and watch movie with her and stella su on thursday but ive got cca!:( sighs.. and i dont pon my cca though im not passionate about it at all.

oh yeah. and:
XIAO WEI GOT IN FOR CSS ROUND TWO!
whoots~! you're great! hope you get into the top few and have the chance to sing on national tv and give me tickets to go watch you! hahahs! must remember me! though i doubt she'll see this. hahahs. though lynn got out, lynn, you did a great job too! in fact, as long as you've tried your best, you'll have no regrets!

it's not that im feeling stressed.

it's just that i can't face up to the fact that i've become so dumb.